Act on How to Win Friends and Influence People

19 March 2019

In the previous blog I gave a summary of the book How to Win Friends and Influence People. With most self-help books it is easier to get motivated than to actually start following the recommendations. How do you actually start changing your habits and changing your life?

In the book there are many techniques that are related to being empathatic to others like listening to people. But there are others which require you to remember details about people.

Remember names

“Remember the names of people” is one of the most important tools in the book. But how can you do that? When you meet someone you should find out his or her name and some facts about the person. These can be about family or work or even topics like politics or music. With this information you can create a mental model about the person’s name associated with some facts. Jot this information on paper, in a note taking app or best - in Bardun.

First meeting

Bardun makes remembering names and details about a person easier. Just create a quick note about the person with the facts you’ve learnt. We’re almost always carrying our smartphones and so need to remember information for a short time before making a note.

Want to know another secret? Just knowing that you want to remember infomation about a person makes you listen more intently and actually retain information better.

If you’re meeting with other people you already know, tagging them in the note along with information helps build your mental model.

Revise and repeat

Just entering information once about a person might not be enough to remember that person for a long time. Refresh your memory about important meetings by re-reading your notes. The next time you meet people, you will be able to recall details about that person with ease. That is also another great tip in the book - Sincerely make other people feel important.

On Reddit one member is building influence by remembering coffee preferences. I’m sure it makes people feel important.

Act

This is a long journey. Start by taking a small simple step and you’ll be suprised how far you will go.

I’ve personally applied these techniques and can attest to the benefits and improved relationships with people.